(South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva


  • Paperback
  • 320
  • South of Forgiveness
  • Thordis Elva
  • English
  • 13 July 2020
  • 9781911344056

Thordis Elva ê 5 Read

South of Forgiveness Download Ô 5 Nger to violence and the healing power of forgiveness South of Forgiveness is an unprecedented collaboration between a survivor and a perpetrator each eually committed to exploring the darkest moment of their lives It is a true story about being bent but not broken of facing fear with courage and of finding hope even in the most wounded of plac. One of the most remarkable books I ve ever read co authored by a rape victim and her rapist though both object to those labels and in particular to being defined by themI first heard about this book on the car radio on Woman s Hour with both of them appearing together on it to tell their story I was so gripped that when I got home I stayed in the car to hear it to the endThey met in Iceland when Thordis Elva was 16 and Tom Stranger an Australian was 18 After becoming boyfriend and girlfriend he subjected her to a brutal two hour rape when she was insensible with drink He then returned to Australia and both their lives then went off the rails before 9 years later she emailed him out of the blue and confronted him with what he d done Instead of denying it or ignoring her as she d expected he immediately replied acknowledging his crime An eight year email exchange followed which culminated in them agreeing to meet half way between Iceland and Australia in Cape Town for a week to try and resolve face to face the final issues which they had been unable to do in writing The book is the story of that weekAs a concept for a book it s mind boggling but the delivery doesn t disappoint either I was completely gripped could hardly put it down and read it in a couple of days It s an emotional rollercoaster and several times I found myself welling up while reading it but it s also astonishingly elouent particularly given that the main author is not a native English speakerWhat I find astonishing is that the book has proven controversial with some people objecting to a rapist being given publicity or a platform to speak in public How these people think that a better understanding of what causes men to rape isn t going to ultimately lead to it being less prevalent is a mystery to me but I guess that some people are interested in simple answers than in real solutionsAn excellent book If you have any doubts watch the co authors TED talk on YouTube The Heiress In His Bed years later she emailed him out of the blue and confronted him with what he d done Instead of denying it or ignoring her as she d expected he immediately replied acknowledging his crime An eight Ritual Power Healing and Community you have any doubts watch the co authors TED talk on YouTube

Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis ElvaSouth of Forgiveness

South of Forgiveness Download Ô 5 A woman a man a rape and a hard journey from violence to reconciliationOne ordinary spring morning in Reykjavik Thordis Elva kisses her son and partner goodbye before boarding a plane to do an extraordinary thing fly seven thousand miles south to meet up with the man who raped her when she was just sixteenMeanwhile in Sydney Australia Tom Stran. This is a very complicated emotionally charged book that will make you feel incredibly uncomfortable in a lot of different waysIt s a bizarre project I totally understand the idea of wanting to confront this person and meet and find a way to put it behind you But flying to South Africa a place very far from both of you to do it Spending a week doing it But then everyone approaches things in their own way Who are we to decide what fits someone s forgiveness someone else s redemption This book and the authors talks have gotten a lot of controversy But I ll say this I don t agree with any of it First of all no one not rapists not murderers are as bad as the worst thing they have ever done And every survivor of violence is entitled to find their own way including Thordis If this is what works for her who are we to judge I also strongly agree with everything Thordis says in defense of the project The way the world talks about rape the focus is on the survivors which forgets the why rape exists ie rapists Rape survivors cannot prevent rape Only rapists can prevent rape So it s time we stop treating sexual violence as a women s issue Rapists are predominantly men Why doesn t that make it a men s issue Further blindly condemning for the rest of their life a rapist as nothing or less than a rapist is so futile If we refuse to allow them to come out and admit it and allow them to take responsibility and make amends how can we as a society ever hope to change the fact that rape happens If all men refuse to talk about rape if women are the only ones talking about it then we are left with this Many men don t even understand that they ve raped someone So they need to start talking To own up To put themselves on display the way many victims do To talk to each other about it as women talk about sexual assault among themselves Another thing You go into this book assuming you will sympathize with Thordis and hate Tom You do both in part but their respective roles as rapist and survivor do not dominate over the fact that they are both people I was surprised to find that on a personal level I liked Tom a lot than I liked Thordis Though to be honest I can t say I liked either of them deeply Tom was occasionally selfish in what he wanted his comment that he hopes the trip will end all communication between them considering Thordis plainly has come to depend on their emails and has a lot of complicated feelings towards their constant communication and frankly I think she loves him a bit didn t need to be said Then Thordis is just painfully petty at times She 100% has the right to be angry at him for raping her But the level of unrelated pettiness she gets to at times is just staggering and irritating Also she s deeply judgmental of people in general And sanctimonious And very fond of muttering nasty little comments in her head On the other hand even if I don t personally like them I admire and respect them both Yes even the rapist Everyone is than the worst thing they ve ever done Both Thordis and Tom embarked on this incredible project to confront themselves their own vulnerabilities their dark complicated history and come out the other side And try to share their story with other survivors and rapists to open dialogue up And the ending is very rich and satisfying And I definitely had better feelings toward both of them by the end than I did at the beginningLot of complicated feelings in this book basically

review South of Forgiveness

South of Forgiveness Download Ô 5 Ger nervously embarks on an eually life changing journey wondering whether he is worthy of this meetingAfter exchanging hundreds of searingly honest emails over eight years Thordis and Tom decided it was time to speak face to face Coming from opposite sides of the globe they meet in the middle in Cape Town South Africa a country that is no stra. My ViewAn account of real life experience a memoir of sorts is hard to review where do you start How do you give a star rating And that difficulty is increased when the subject matter is so personal and yet also concerns women and men all over the world These things I pondered for a while before I sat down and wrote my review This is my personal opinionFirstly I have to mention how very courageous I think both parties are exposing their innermost thoughts and feelings to public scrutiny Rape is an act of violence that is often very difficult to discuss there are so many emotions surrounding the act and its aftermath hurt anger fear confusion disgust misguided feelings of self blame that make this topic very controversial and difficult to speak about Not many will speak out and until do the silence will continue suffocate this very real issue Bravo to both authors for sharing their story I hope it generates lots of discussion and creates safe spaces where others can share their experiences For me this is not just a story of rape it is a powerful story of reconciliation and forgiveness It is obvious to me that Thordis Elva has spent a lot of time working on her own mental health and that she is in a very positive and secure place Tom StrangerI think has a way to go on this journey or maybe that is just the opinion I formed because most of the dialogue in the book belongs to Thordis Elva Tom Stranger seem to be a bit player in this narrative If you are looking for a voyeuristic account of a degrading act of violence then you have picked up the wrong book The act itself is not the main character the process of finding forgiveness is This act of forgiveness I find so alien to my way of looking at the world of dealing with hurtbut it is evident from this account and others for example of victims of crime and perpetrators meeting and reconciling that for some this process is healing Bravo again Thordis ElvaIf you want a very personal almost clinical very rational account of one woman s powerful journey in life then this book is for you


10 thoughts on “(South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva

  1. says: (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva

    (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva What is this about? South of Forgiveness is well about forgiveness Thordis Elva was raped by her then boyfriend Tom Stranger when s

  2. says: (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva review South of Forgiveness

    Thordis Elva ê 5 Read Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis Elva (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva This is a very complicated emotionally charged book that will make you feel incredibly uncomfortable in a lot of different waysIt’s a bizarre project I totally understand the idea of wanting to confront this person and m

  3. says: (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ê 5 Read Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis Elva

    review South of Forgiveness Thordis Elva ê 5 Read (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva This was a hard book for me to read Lets be honest people don't like to talk about rape and the rape culture that we live in today

  4. says: (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ê 5 Read Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis Elva

    Thordis Elva ê 5 Read Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis Elva review South of Forgiveness I hear Thordis and Tom in a TED radio hour on Forgiveness and I am currently in training to be a volunteer on my local rape crisis center phone hotline The topic resonated obviously and I thought this might be a good book to pick up I am also thinking alot about restorative justice and Thordis's approach to Tom is uniue in that she is less vindictive than one would expect and open to discussion rather than punishmentThe book does a great

  5. says: (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva

    (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva My ViewAn account of real life experience a memoir of sorts is hard to review where do you start? How do you give a star rating? And that difficulty is increased when the subject matter is so personal and yet also concerns women and m

  6. says: Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ê 5 Read review South of Forgiveness

    review South of Forgiveness Thordis Elva ê 5 Read Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis Elva This book had a lot of potential It’s premise was uite uniue rape perpetrator and survivor engage in years of correspondence over the crime and then meet in person again to try and come to a point of forgivenes

  7. says: review South of Forgiveness (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ê 5 Read

    Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis Elva (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ê 5 Read How do you go from hatred for someone else as well as for yourself to forgiveness and even some kind of friendship? This is a well written moving story It teaches so much About rape its conseuences and its context about guilt and mostly it reminded me how strong humans are I felt for both those souls

  8. says: (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva

    (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva review South of Forgiveness Excellent book well written brave and truthful This book is a breakthrough with a lot of wit and beauty as well as raw pain

  9. says: Thordis Elva ê 5 Read Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis Elva (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva

    (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva One of the most remarkable books I've ever read co authored by a rape victim and her rapist though both object to those labels and in

  10. says: (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ê 5 Read Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis Elva

    Free download Ô PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ê Thordis Elva (South of Forgiveness) [PDF DOWNLOAD] Å Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ê 5 Read Somewhere between 3 and 4 stars It is hard to rate a book like this one

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